I just want to scream.

Sometimes things in life are so wrong that you just don't know where to begin to pick up the pieces. 

Things can start happening that would make a normal person feel as if there is still hope in the world, yet all it does is push you farther down into the hole you've been trying to escape for years.  You know that you should be thankful because you are beyond blessed with a place to call home, a car to drive, a job to go to and food to eat... but yet you can't shake this feeling that you're just not who you're supposed to be. 

Somehow you have lost all knowledge of who you are, what you're doing, why you're doing it, and where to go from here.  Someone mentioned the idea of an "identity crisis" to me today and it dawned on me... that is exactly what I'm experiencing at this point in my life.  I have always known who I was, where I was going, how I was going to get there and I knew exactly how to piece the puzzle, that I call my life, together as one.  

Now I'm a recent college graduate with no job prospectives because of the lack of an internship, waiting on that e-mail or phone call from an internship that says "Congratulations! You've been accepted as a cultural ambassador for the 2013-2014 school year in Sevilla, Spain", working a minimum wage job just to get by (but really I'm not getting by at all) and digging deeper into misery.  The question "Who am I?" is often followed by the answer "I have no idea" these days.  I just can't seem to remember who I am and I'm not sure how I am supposed to figure that out.  

I know that I should be thankful to be where I am today; I have a college degree and I actually have a job, but I can't shake the disappointment I have in myself.  I am 23 years old and should be able to live on my own, pay my own bills, and take care of myself... yet I've had to revert back to being a teenager accepting money and help from my mother.  I'm not one to ask for help and I'm not one to want to put my mother in a bind financially; it's draining the life out of me.  It makes me feel worthless.

I just wish someone could tell me who I am and where I'm supposed to go from here. I wish that life would get easier.